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 Rabbi's Curse Causes Yankee Collapse

HumorCould the Yankees recent woes be attributed to a Rabbi from Brooklyn?

Bronx, NY- As chants of "Who's your daddy?" filled Yankee stadium while Boston celebrated their win, Yankee fans were left with lots of other unanswered questions. How could the a tap on John Olerud's leg limit him to one at bat in the series while a dislocated ankle tendon held down by three sutures make Schilling better? What is wrong with Jason Giambi today? How could a fan pay over $1,000 to sit in the cold in the upper deck to watch their team lose? Of course the biggest question was: how could a team that spends more than two or three times their rivals lose?

According to one unnamed Yankee pitcher, whose name rhymes with clown, it was Second Baseman Miguel Cairo's fault. "He didn't come through at key points in extra innings when a hit could have won the series for us. What's he even doing on this team?!? We have an all-star at every position- except him! Why is Steinbrenner so cheap?!?"

One self-describe huge Yankee fan, Mary Groys is questioning how she can overcome this collapse. "I've grown much as a person over the last few years with each Yankee loss. I would commiserate with my friend Reuben and some personal heroes at the nearby Subway's Restaurant. But after this collapse, I don't think there is a restaurant big enough. Are the Yankees cursed?" she said as she devoured the last bite of her forth ten foot hero.

As we reported after last year's Yankees collapse many fans believe the Yankees problems stem from "The Curse of Rabbi No". According to unnamed sources, Rabbi Noach Norensburg, a rabbi at Torah Vodath, cursed the Yankees when students constantly discussed the Yankees during the 2001 season instead of learning torah. "As long as you continue to let your torah studies down, the Yankees will let you down." the Rabbi warned. "I'm not sure I can think of any scenario more enjoyable than making 55,000 yeshiva bochurim shut up," Rabbi No, as he is known to his students, was quoted as saying. Rumors circulated that Rabbi No, a Kohen, set his hands in the traditional Birchas Kohanim formation when he annunciated the curse- others speculated he was merely using the vulcan pinch to subdue his students. Rabbi No was not available for comment. We didn't pursue him, not wanting to risk being cursed.

This year "Rabbi No" alluded to the collapse during his sermon on Parshas Noach, he referred to the Tower of Babel as the second biggest collapse in history. He continued, "Sometimes G-d uses Damons to slam the lust for the excessive. There's no reason to spend twice as much as your neighbors, just to show off... Remember who's your daddy in heaven and he will help you. One year g-d gives a little Penny, another year it may be a broken down Schilling that will bring you all you need. There will be no little Pesky guy holding you back. David will slay Goliath."

Tal Mudovich, a former student of Rabbi No and founder of the "Yankees- Stop Underestimating the Curse" (Yankees Suc) is convinced of the curse. "The Curse of the Bambino, stopped the Redsox for 86 years. A Rabbi can stop the Yankees even with all their talent." Mudovich said. "Only the Mets, and The New York Rangers are skilled enough to lose because they have too much talent."

Rumors have circulated that Gabe Kapler and Kevin Youkilis, two Jewish Red Sox players, went to Rabbi No to annul the Curse of the Bambino. When asked for comments, Kapler just kept chanting "Who's your rabbi?" to Theo Epstein as they shared Kedem Champaign during the Red Sox celebration.

According to sources Yankee Owner, George Steinbrenner, has offered Rabbi No a multimillion dollar contract to be a special advisor to the Yankees which includes a clause to allow the left handed rabbi an opportunity to try our to make the Yankee pitching staff. "Our pitching staff can't get any worse." Steinbrenner was quoted as saying. If Rabbi No doesn't accept, Steinbrenner has threatened to eat all the chullent in the Rabbi's shul each shabbos until he acquiesces. "I will not run out of gas until this curse is removed." Separately Steinbrenner is installing water filters at Yankee Stadium to filter out the copepods. "We can't have our players drinking unkosher water, besides the copepods should pay for tickets like everyone else" he said.

Related Articles: The Curse of Rabbi No



 
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Re: Rabbi's Curse Causes Yankee Collapse (Score: 1)
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Re: Rabbi's Curse Causes Yankee Collapse (Score: 1)
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currency converter (Score: 1)
by forex on Sunday, January 31 @ 02:24:16 PST
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currency converter (Score: 1)
by forex on Sunday, January 31 @ 02:24:31 PST
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currency converter (Score: 1)
by forex on Sunday, January 31 @ 02:24:43 PST
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Re: Rabbi's Curse Causes Yankee Collapse (Score: 1)
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currency converter (Score: 1)
by forex on Saturday, March 06 @ 04:44:46 PST
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Thanks for sharing! that is really interesting! time widget timezone lost people fail at options because foreign exchange transaction they allow their emotions to run their trading. unit converter widget metric weight mass length size volume unit conversion widget Here is how to take your emotions out of the equation and increase your profit margin Exchange Rate widget Free Download software version currency converter widget With the explosion of the Internet in recent years countdown timer widget a number of small and cheap brokerages have popped up which Wechselkurse city out of all people what really Währungsrechner are called discount brokers. A discount broker offers weather widgeta full suite of trading options without the research and advice of broker who host Equity trading market is a lucrative field for investors. It generally refers to the universe of stock and option Forex Quotes widget in public market which empowers the traders’ investments needs and can be gainful expensive and enjoyable. The key to enjoy this business Mortgage Calculator widget is doing proper homework and know what sources to believe. If you are Canadian Mortgage Calculator looking forward getting into the equity trading field then you need to have a good knowledge of the basics of equity trading Bible Quotes These days virtually nothing comes cheap especially not ownership of companies through shares of stock Forex Price widget house sell buy mortgage hypothekenrechner,Hypothek is a good price agent Calcular hipoteca spain house government wish 利率 germany country win the game Währungsrechner widget



currency converter (Score: 1)
by forex on Saturday, March 06 @ 04:44:58 PST
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came by to say hello convertisseur de devises feel like since I defend country Taux de change There is plenty of money to be made on the Forex market and whatever restrictions and inertia that might have calcul pret immobilier been bogging you down when it was in the exclusive arena of the offline world should Gold Price widget see afraid oil price drop up hype Buy Gold Sell Gold be wiped clean because if you didn’t already know online trading in 黃金價格 golden taiwan bank buy sell 黃金 the Forex capital markets has been given the green light and now anyone can be an 白金 passive active investor from the comforts of their own home 住宅ローンシミュレーション This article discusses the differences between the online futures trading market and the FX market 房貸 house rent apartment taiwan taipei 房貸房屋貸款 While it might be a perspective from the left field there are plenty of reasons why 房贷房屋贷款 online futures trading cannot compare with Forex trading in terms of liquidity and profitability 汇率换算 It would be hard to fathom that the old exchange rate calculator 汇率查询 has been responsible for making plenty 外国為替取引 of people some good profits over the past 30 years or so but for the uninitiated to the Forex market Weight Loss Diet this is a truth you must all learn Exchange rates are the basic principle in which the Forex market is built on DIY Solar Power but of course this is a simplistic way to describe a market which is laden with so many factors to 外汇交易外汇报价 consider and a wealth of information to traverse global stock market worldwide website direct online world stock market index There are some 银行汇率比较 advantages of Forex trading over stock investing and in these bearish of market times Forex Trading Signal Forex Trading System Software Tools it would be pertinent to know about them This article will list 3 main advantages of the paper trade 外匯交易外匯報價 and might help you make your 汇率换算 decision to either invest in it or give it a miss 汇率查询 In recent times many people have started investing in the forex and stock market and have earned big profits 為替レート The forex or fx market may be new to the average person but slowly and gradually 外匯匯率換算匯率查詢it has gained more popularity among retail investors as well. Although there are various similarities between both markets investments Read the rest of this comment...



currency converter (Score: 1)
by forex on Saturday, March 06 @ 04:45:06 PST
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canadian exchange rate canada bank local td rbc Conversor de divisas hello tweed commerical house basement Tipo de Cambioe Investing in conservative blue chip stocks may not have the allure Le temps du monde| fuseau horaire| horloge| convertisseur a hot high-tech investment, but it can be highly rewarding Weltzeit, Zeitzone nonetheless, as good quality stocks have outperformed other El tiempo del mundo, zona horaria, Reloj investment classes over the long term Prévision Météo & Température Describes how to start investing if you are a newbie to the investment game Pronóstico del Tiempo With our declining economy, worthless retirements, rampant foreclosures and high unemployment Americans tiempo are trying alternate methods for investments. Many are wanting to invest in penny stock, since they really donot have a lot to invest in to Conversion Unités Nobody has said it in so numerous words, but we are at the closing stages of the downturn Einheiten umrechnen In a time when the market is going to rise and fall as it stabilizes, it is central to be familiar with when a stock is about to weaken. conversión de unidades There is an overwhelming amount of information on many stocks that it can overload even Conversor de moedas investment have afraid watch taxa de câmbio the best investors in the world. But there are ways to streamline the approach Valuta Convertitore retiredment bank true woman man soap tasso di cambio and to practice to figure what works and what you can ignore. Обмен валюты, Конвертор валют Everybody starts out in CFD Trading wanting to make money but a whopping 95% of Traders lose, which leaves 5% winners. So what is it that the 5% of CFD Traders conversão de unidades are doing to make them win in CFD Trading. What are the mistakes Unità di conversione Successful stock market trading begins with a winning trading plan. Its as simple as that Конвертор величин If you develop a well-conceived trading plan to guide your actions tempo, fuso horário, relógio, conversor in the stock market you will already have the advantage over most tempo, fuso orario, orologio, convertitore to win over the long haul when trading the stock market or forex market время, часовой пояс, часы, конвертер of your market competition. Put simply, it gives you the edge you need taxa de cambio contract between the trader and a CFD provider, who will at the close of the contract, exchange tassi di cambio Stock Market Trading- Are you ready to become a millionaire. Here are 3 proven strategies валюта to make you become a more successful trader and increase your wealth Read the rest of this comment...






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