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 | Avoiding Shadchans, Here’s an alternate solution |
Your mother just wants to see you walk down the aisle. Your grandmother thinks that no one is good enough for her little darling. Her best friend (who still pinches your cheek) is trying to match you up based on all the wonderful things your grandmother is saying about you. Your neighbor drags out all the no-hopers in the neighborhood for your inspection basing your needs on some comment you made ten years ago about her apple cake you didn’t quite like. And your best friend compares everyone to "the one who got away".
Wouldn’t it be great if you could just find someone on your own? When it comes to who is best qualified to find your life partner, you may need a mirror to see that answer! On their own, most single men can’t seem to find Ms. Right, and single women are always asking “where are all the good guys”. Then the tough meat market, I mean dating scene, makes it impossible to find someone on your own.
No one wants to stay single, but it’s not easy asking for help. As someone who has “been there”, I know the scene quite well. It’s full of anti-shadchan singles who ask: “They don’t know me and they don’t know him – how can they put us together?” or those who say: “I am not going to get outside help, I’m not desperate…yet”. And on the other side, it’s full of matchmakers who easily get burnt out; “I set them up, they went out ten times, and then he said no because there was no click. He’s clearly not ready to get married” Or the matchmakers who get exasperated by your selectiveness: “So what if he’s 10 years older and has not held down a job in 5 years? You are 30 years old, you can’t afford to be so picky.”
In my community, I was considered an “old maid” when I got engaged, and until I met my husband, I heard endless complaints of how I had to settle for less or I was never going to get married. But I held out, and in the end got what I wanted – or at least the important things. Today, I can help prevent others from going through what I suffered, because of Saw You at Sinai - an ideal solution for both singles and shadchanim.
Shadchan in Hebrew is the term for stapler, and that’s how the new breed of shadchanim on SYAS, like me, see ourselves – just trying to help people who are supposed to be together get together. These shadchanim are married folks who have large networks, they set aside time for setting up singles each week, and they have a knack for assessing character, all qualities that will enable them to steer you towards couplehood. This Internet dating site has revolutionized the Jewish dating scene because it enables them to regularly offer you expanded options with constant access to “fresh blood” as more and more people sign up.
Saw You at Sinai is more than a 'cyber-yenta'. An Internet dating site is only as good as its members, and SYAS screen both the singles and the matchmakers. While singles may
complain of the time-consuming process of filling out forms and providing tons of information on any dating site, from a shadchan’s perspective, the profiles give me 99.9% of the information. To ensure that I have 100% of the information I need, SYAS now requires all its shadchanim to create a personal relationship with the singles we represent (i.e. via phone or email or even face to face). And not only are shadchanim pre-screened, but we are required to commit a certain amount of hours each week to volunteer on the site.
So when you choose up to 3 Shadchanim to act as your agent, they will personally search
as well as use technological search efforts to rule out unsuitable matches, verify the characteristics that are important to you, and suggest the matches that are most appropriate.
At the same time, because it makes the job easier for the shadchan, we enjoy it more and want to do it as much as we can. Among the benefits of SYAS to me: I can do it on those nights that I can’t sleep at 3 a.m.; I have all the information I need right in front of me - forget the scraps of papers with notes about singles; singles update the site so that I can immediately see who is dating and who is available; I can network with other shadchanim to check out potential matches for people I know. For singles, it enables you to have full pre-screened and pre-sorted profiles according to your priorities come straight to you; women can choose to see the man’s profile first so your name isn’t thrown out to the wind; all shidduchim suggested are reviewed and selected based on compatibility with discretion!
Saw You at Sinai can bring you one step closer to eternal bliss, and the site’s basic and gold membership plans offer free and paid plans to ensure that the path to the aisle is affordable!
About The Author
Chevy Weiss is a shadchan on Saw You At Sinai
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Re: Avoiding Shadchans, Here’s an alternate solution (Score: 1) by adam713 on Tuesday, September 11 @ 22:29:19 PDT (User Info | Send a Message) | Well Chevy Weiss. G-d Bless you for trying to help. I will tell you though there is a problem not because of the matchmakers but because a few of the women that run the site override everybody else. I received this letter from SYAS. The part that I said to the Shadchan is true. The rest in not and Rebecca is basically believing that all Shadchan's think like she does. She claims to be speaking for 300 matchmakers.On top of this Rebecca is not even married which she should follow the same rules as everyone else who has to be married. Don't you think. Worse at the time I had two female profiles that accepted me that I was going to accept and BOOM I was suddenly thrown off. I was giving no warning or anything. Even worse Rebecca called me a while back and I returned the call and she never called me back then suddenly I get this. For one comment a shadchan didn't like. I also had made it a few weeks so if it was so terrible why would they wait 3 weeks to remove me and again Rebecca acts like she speaks in unison for all 300 matchmakers which is crazy because it wasn't just this comment she belives all 300 matchmakers can't help me which wasn't even true as I was receiving many matches. So Rebecca and also Danielle who is also single and actually renews each month override the whole system. Because of this I would strongly advice any guy not to join because they will break your heart and suddenly throw you off like they did to me simply because they don't like your views.
This is the letter I received.
Hi Adam This is Rebecca, I work with the matchmakers. You recently declined a match on the site, and in declining insulted the matchmaker saying "I also really don't know if you are a matchmaker or interviewing for a job reading your profile. It seems the latter to me." Our matchmakers are all volunteers who do their best to help singles connect. Based on this response as well as multiple previous decline messages, the matchmakers feel they can't help you find what you're looking for. We will not be renewing your membership, but as your current month's membership expires today we will not be issuing you a refund. Regards,Rebecca
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