Every Friday is filled with last minute preparations for making your shabbos perfect. There’s cooking, cleaning, ironing, bathing, preparing, setting up- it’s no wonder that Friday’s are so stressful. Imagine if there was a machine that can automate many of the tasks, eliminate others and make the tasks remaining more enjoyable. Well there is- it’s a methodology called The Success Making Machine. The system can be used for any type of project and it certainly will help ease shabbos preparations.
A Success Making Machine is system that uses the three elements of: thinking, doing and enjoying to acheive success. In short the principals are: Think before you do. Do it well. Enjoy what you’re doing.

Think
Before you do anything you need to think. Why are you making shabbos? Of course I know it’s a commandment. But why are you making it so elaborate? Certainly many of the tasks you perform aren’t really neccessary to having a great shabbos experience. So figure what you really want in your shabbos and make a concrete plan accordingly. The next few paragraphs give you some of the tools that you can include in your plan.

Eat it I actually mean Ate it: EliminAte, AutomAte and DelegAte. Eliminate tasks you don’t really need to do. Do you really need a 3rd side dish? Is it necessary to wash all the dirty clothes before shabbos- can it be done on Sunday? Automate: Can your grocery store deliver your standard order each week? Can your cleaners be automatically delivered before shabbos? Delegate: Can one of the kids prepare the shabbos table? Are there some items that would be better to buy than make yourself? Think about ways to “ate” your tasks.

Home it Every item in your house should have a home, a place where it belongs. During the week items around the house should end up in their home- this will eliminate the need for some cleaning before shabbos. For the items that are left out you can put it away without thinking or simply have your spouse or child put it away- it’s easy because everyone knows the home. All shabbos preparation items should similarly have a home. So when you’re preparing for shabbos you don’t need to spend precious time looking around for them.

Routine it- Make your shabbos preparation ritual routine. Have all members of your household know what their tasks are so there’s no need for reminders. The less time you spend thinking about routine tasks on Friday the more brainpower you can extend to doing things faster and better.

Do
Doing is the obvious part of shabbos preparation. But whatever you do, do it to the best of your abilities. Even tasks you don’t like should be done with your full effort- it gets done faster that way (more on this later). Also you’re passion will also spill over to other members of the family who will achieve more with less stress.

When you start a task, work on it until it’s done. Don’t interrupt yourself lest you end up with 20 open tasks and nothing completed as a neighbor walks in or you need to step out for a few minutes.

Don’t multitask. Many supposedly productive people will tell you that you should multitask to get your tasks done more efficiently. Experiments have proven that multitasking doesn’t work. People lose their focus and don’t adequately concentrate causing the time and or quality to suffer. Rather combine complementary tasks. Peel potatoes while you’re on the phone. The potatoes aren’t a mind intensive task, leaving you to concentrate on the phone. When you go out shopping be sure to stop at the cleaners- it will save you a trip later.

Enjoy
Shabbos is a special day. If you’re stressing the entire week about preparations and resting all of shabbos when will you be enjoying yourself? There’s a simple rule for enjoying shabbos preparation and shabbos more: Do more of what you like and less of what you dont like. Think about ways to “ate” your tasks- especially the ones that you hate.

Do something you enjoy to reward yourself. Perhaps you get the first bite of kugel. Prepare you favorite foods. Most of all eliminate stress. Are you stressed about demanding guests? Don’t invite them anymore. A stressed out parent at the shabbos table certainly doesn’t contribute to an enjoyable shabbos.

What’s next
The more you use the tools of the Success Making Machine the more you’ll achieve on Friday and everyday. (There are more tools and techniques online at successmakingmachine.com) Even in this short lesson you can start to take advantage of building your machine which will help you achieve success. Have a successful shabbos.

Chanukah is gone and the winter weather turns colder as the days seem to grow shorter. Why does it seem like your career is frozen and your opportunity list is shrinking?

Here are 5 steps to fire up your career.

1. Set Your Goals
Before you can further your career you need to figure out what you want to be. Make sure it’s reasonable (will you really be able hit a 90 pile per hour fast ball even if you practiced for a year?). Make sure you enjoy it and aren’t just doing it for the money or to satify others. Pick something you should be happy to do for no pay- then you’ll never have to work a day in your life.

2. Plan your Career
Do you need to learn new skills? How will you get to the job you want. What intermediate steps will you need to do to get in position? Research how other people got into your chosen career. Think of some unconventional ways to jump ahead of the pack.

3. Take Baby Steps
First you’ll need to spend two nights to update your resume. The first night is to get it all down and the second night is to review it. Then find fast ways to get started. Submit your resume to job boards. Ask your friends for leads. Follow up. Target specific companies and send your resume. Find creative ways to get in touch with companies you want to work for. Search the job boards for very specific jobs that meet your goals.

4. Do it with Passion

Everything you do in life should be done with passion. You’re in the process of finding a job that will pay you for something that you enjoy doing. That’s exciting. Let your excitement show.

5. Enjoy the process
The interview process can be daunting and rejections can mount but you only need one yes to get your dream job. As Thomas Edison said after another failed experiment “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” He eventually invented the light bulb.

“The Year My Parents Went on Vacation” is a coming of age story by filmmaker Cao Hamburger that gives the viewer an enlightening look at the events in Brazil in 1970 through the eyes of Mauro, a twelve year old boy, who is consumed by soccer and Brazil’s world cup team. Mauro’s parents are on the run from Brazil’s government dictatorship. In order to keep him safe, his parents leave Mauro by his grandfather in the Sao Paulo district of Bom Retiro (a district known for its diverse communities living in harmony – including an orthodox Jewish community). Unbeknown to his parents, Mauro’s grandfather dies the day that Mauro arrives. Mauro is looked after by his grandfather’s neighbor an elderly orthodox Jewish man, who has a job in the local synagogue. Mauro is left in a strange community and district and must learn to survive on his own until his parents return for him.

The film depicts the struggles of Mauro as he tries to survive and regain the happiness that he once knew just as many Brazilians were struggling at the time within a government dictatorship. Yet, despite this struggle, individuals and the entire Brazilian country managed to escape the hardships of their lives, the politics of their country, and their cultural differences by focusing their attention on the triumphs of the national soccer team and world cup win. Despite its slow pace, viewers will certainly be enlightened about the struggle of one boy to survive his new predicament in life as well as get a taste of life in Brazil during this time.

Hello,

We have a new website called: www.IsraLoft.com where we sell Israeli real estate for Jewish people.

We believe that every Jewish person needs to have a home in the holy land.

Do you have any idea on how can I reach more people to see our website?

Shalom,

Sam
JewCentral’s Reponse:
Hi Sam,

Getting traffic to a website requires work but with the right effort and a little luck you can build a machine that will give you constant traffic on your site. Having good marketing material and quality content are key. Given that you asked about traffic I’ll tackle that specifically. There are three ways for people to reach your web site:

1. Offline efforts- You can use media and advertising to have people reach your site. You can have events or sponsor other events and use your website to draw people into your service. Be sure to include your web address in all correspondence, this way people who want more information can look it up.

2. Online Advertising- If you want people to contact you online the best way to reach people is online- so they can just click to you. The easiest way is to pay for ads.
1) Just find an appropriate site and contact them. The advantage is that you can be sure your ads are displayed alongside appropriate content and you can get the positioning you want.
2) Ad networks- You can sign-up with ad networks like Google who aggregate a bunch of sites together that are appropriate to your market (though the use of keywords). The advantage is that you only need to deal with one organization and you can be as flexible as you want in terms of frequency, price and timing.

3. Links In- The best way to get traffic is to get other sites to send it to you for free! Here are 3 ways to do that:
1) Search engines: Here are 2 articles that will guide you through the process:
a) How to get free traffic to your web site- http://www.jewcentral.com/article363.html
b) Make Your Site More Important To Search Engines http://www.jewcentral.com/article366.html
2) Cultivate relationships with other sites- Find appropriate sites that your target would visit and work out link exchanges with them or better offer the site something they want- quality content (which has your link in it). If you are an expert in your field write articles about it. In your case JewCentral.com would be a good match for you. If you or someone in your organization is an expert in Israeli real estate that may be a good approach.
3) Participate in other sites- Some sites (like JewCentral.com) have forums where your comments and expertise are welcome. Find them and be active. Don’t sound like a commercial but have your thoughtful comments establish your reputation and link to your site when appropriate. Many sites let you link to your in your footer.

Good luck.

Do you have a question?
Send us your question and we’ll try to help- Just click the feedback link.

It’s difficult to find kosher food in unfamiliar areas and when you do it’s hard
to figure out if it’s close to your current location. Now Google makes it easy just type ”
Kosher Restaurants in [Enter City, State or zipcode here]” and you get the results on a map so you can see proximity…

Being jewish single parent is already difficult and demanding; much less dating outside of your surroundings.
As a single parent, or any parent you are confined to a particular way of life. Most of divorced jewish single parents have a hard time dating, and getting intimate with someone new, because they have already been in a hurtful situation, has already
had trials and tribulations, and starting something new with someone else could be very intimidating.

Usually it takes a lot of time before you, as a single parent decide to socialize again.
First, you have to consider your readiness to meet someone new; as any other break ups, not involving the kids, it is always hard to move on to someone else. You still have some feelings for the other person, you steel feel sensitive and vulnerable, and you may still feel the burden on your heart. You feel like you do not have the time to date anymore; you are the only one who really takes all the responsibilities for your child, you have to make sure that your child is taking care of and safe. You become both mom and dad for your little one. You are also worried about bringing someone new in to your child’s life, who may not be a “permanent” candidate; and you do not want your child to get used to this person, and may be even breaking his or hers little heart!

As a single parent, you are not only looking for a perfect match for you, but you also looking for a co-parent. So, now as a single parent, you have two dilemmas, one is to find a mister or misses right; and two is to find someone who would love your child.
Where is there a room for a romance? Or feeling sexy as a single parent? So, where do you start? How do you approach single parents dating? Where do you find your “support” group; another words the people who are interested to
date you?

I believe that, as a first step to single parents dating, weather you are a single men or a single women, is to give and make yourself available to go out and socialize with your friends and see how it is to be out and feel single again; how it feels to just mingle with other people, and have a harmless and safe fun.

Meaning no relationship as of yet; just hang out with other singles and single parents (if you have those kind of friends), relax and try to enjoy it.
Flirt and flirt some more. It can be really healthy to feel desirable and wanted in your position!

Then when you really feel comfortable with the idea of possibly meeting someone new for more then just friendship; go ahead and start going on real dates.
Ideally it is great to meet people in none pressuring and safe environment such as internet: Online dating service; single parents dating.

First of all, you find the singles in your area and then narrow them down to the ones
who are single parents like yourself, or someone who is interested in dating one.

When reviewing the personal profiles online dating service, check for those immediate
important points like “wants children”, “wants family and marriage”; “like to date divorcee or single parent”

The online dating allows you to use a search criteria that will let you to select certain personality traits and characteristics. Or, you can just join those single parents’ websites that only specialize on dating for single parents. Those types of online dating service will help you to feel connected to other single parents; and also will allow you to get the advice for single parents and dating; and refer you to scheduled single parents dating events in your area.

However, this way you will eliminate everyone else that is not a single parent, but may be interested to be with someone who is. So, do not just stay with one online dating website; try several of them, just branch out.

When you are chatting with someone online, you will be able to recognize and see if this is the right person for you as much as you can; just like any other online dating services, you want to be honest with other singles, try not to exaggerate and do not overstate your
Personality and your expectations. Be very clear about your intentions and your present situation (how long divorced, are you already divorced, what is your current situation with your ex etc.).

Then you just have to try to make sense and see if this other single parent, or just another single person has matching qualities and if he is a prospect dating material.
Then you go on dates, may be several dates; you visit one of those special Single Parents Dating events; and you find your match.

Now, once you have met this one person who you feel a connection with, and start dating; you both need to feel comfortable with the idea of co-parenting.
If the person you are dating has his or her own kids, it may be a little easier, because you both share the same conditions and circumstances.
If the person you are with doesn’t have any kids, you have to be really patient, and helpful to lead them in this new world of parenting.

You have to make the person flow in to this environment; nothing is like having your own kids; People may tell you that they have nieces and nephews; and they are surrounded by kids all the time; however it is nothing like living with them, or being a step parent to a child.

So if you are a single parent, and you have someone interested to be with you and live with you, of course after you dated for a while, and you and your child feel very comfortable around each other; you have to be able to create the atmosphere to
make this person part of your day to day routine and part of your everyday life.

The person who is moving in with you, and wants to become part of your and your child’s life has to really embrace the new life style, and you will need to help her or him to do that.
The fact, that this person is willing to take upon the responsibilities with you, only tells you that this person has a great heart and they are really with you for you, no matter of what happens.

In the other hand if you are that person, who is dating someone who is single parent, it is also important for you to be able to compromise for your new family as well.
You may have been single before this relationship, and may be used to more “independent” and controlled life style; you could do things as you please; however when starting relationship with the single parent, all of this may change.

I do not want to sound discouraging, but you have to be able to change your life style rapidly; and go through a lot of new emotions. I do suggest using a jewish dating service to find someone you can chat with first then get to know offline. This way you can discuss your likes dislikes and your children before ever meeting this man or women.

About The Author
Subu is a Jewish Singles dating advice coach and webmaster for AllAboutSingles.com