So, you have decided to do it. Get out there to the cyber space and try your luck. I mean, many people do it and talk about it, so why not?
A good plan will help you get the results YOU want.
1.Get some great digital photos of yourself – No matter what the sites tell you, this is not optional. A photo is worth 50,000 words online. If you want t o do better then that, upload a voice or video message. You will get MUCH more results.
2.Write up a profile – It is a good idea to have something prepared in advance. Write up a list of what you are looking for in a partner, a list of important things about your personality (especially the positive stuff), and come up with a snappy username and title.
3.Send emails – Sure, you could just put up a profile and wait for folks to write you. But you will get much better results if you take the initiative.
So say you have found someone who looks really good to you. How do you initiate contact? You could send them message, try the instant-message, or send a note or wink, which are pre-written little emails that express your interest but not much else
What should you say? Here is where it is important to read the persons profile. It gives you things to talk about. Then, a good rule of thumb is compliments and questions. An earnest compliment on the persons accomplishments, writing style, or life goals will say a lot. If you are emailing a woman, avoid talking too much about her beauty; you may come off as shallow, or trying to get into her pants. Men may respond better to this sort of flattery. People love to talk about themselves, so ask her something about an aspect of her profile: her work, her location, her hobbies. Ask open-ended questions. Do not give out your personal email address or phone number in this initial email; wait until you are both interested and it is apparent that it is going somewhere. Keep it short and light-one to two paragraphs should do it, and leave heavy topics for later. And sign your real first name.
Guys: Women are not necessarily into the strong silent type. They want someone who is enthusiastic, active, and warm. If you are not any of those things, for God is sake, pretend to be.
Take note: our email system does not save your messages forever. You might need to save them on your machine or print them out, lest they get deleted at some point. If you are in contact with a bunch of different people at once, devise a system to keep track of them. Once you start talking on the phone, take notes during the conversation. You can even capture IM logs for later perusal. If you are juggling several different prospects, this is really important.
4.…Have some fun – Yeah, I know you are looking for the future mother/father of your children, the person you hope to grow old with. The decisions you make could potentially affect the course of your life. But really, do not think about that. Just imagine you are going out bar-hopping, except that you are going to a magical bar which you can populate with precisely the kind of partner you like. Then have a great time.
Finally, if whatever you are trying does not seem to be working, revise your strategy. Einstein said, Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.
Yair Czitrom is the owner and webmaster of www.jaters.com. An experienced online dater that took his dating knowledge and web skills to help other daters/singles. http://www.jaters.com – Free Jewish dating, Jewish singles & Jewish matchmaking service
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