Being jewish single parent is already difficult and demanding; much less dating outside of your surroundings.
As a single parent, or any parent you are confined to a particular way of life. Most of divorced jewish single parents have a hard time dating, and getting intimate with someone new, because they have already been in a hurtful situation, has already
had trials and tribulations, and starting something new with someone else could be very intimidating.
Usually it takes a lot of time before you, as a single parent decide to socialize again.
First, you have to consider your readiness to meet someone new; as any other break ups, not involving the kids, it is always hard to move on to someone else. You still have some feelings for the other person, you steel feel sensitive and vulnerable, and you may still feel the burden on your heart. You feel like you do not have the time to date anymore; you are the only one who really takes all the responsibilities for your child, you have to make sure that your child is taking care of and safe. You become both mom and dad for your little one. You are also worried about bringing someone new in to your childâ€™s life, who may not be a â€œpermanentâ€ candidate; and you do not want your child to get used to this person, and may be even breaking his or hers little heart!
As a single parent, you are not only looking for a perfect match for you, but you also looking for a co-parent. So, now as a single parent, you have two dilemmas, one is to find a mister or misses right; and two is to find someone who would love your child.
Where is there a room for a romance? Or feeling sexy as a single parent? So, where do you start? How do you approach single parents dating? Where do you find your â€œsupportâ€ group; another words the people who are interested to
I believe that, as a first step to single parents dating, weather you are a single men or a single women, is to give and make yourself available to go out and socialize with your friends and see how it is to be out and feel single again; how it feels to just mingle with other people, and have a harmless and safe fun.
Meaning no relationship as of yet; just hang out with other singles and single parents (if you have those kind of friends), relax and try to enjoy it.
Flirt and flirt some more. It can be really healthy to feel desirable and wanted in your position!
Then when you really feel comfortable with the idea of possibly meeting someone new for more then just friendship; go ahead and start going on real dates.
Ideally it is great to meet people in none pressuring and safe environment such as internet: Online dating service; single parents dating.
First of all, you find the singles in your area and then narrow them down to the ones
who are single parents like yourself, or someone who is interested in dating one.
When reviewing the personal profiles online dating service, check for those immediate
important points like â€œwants childrenâ€, â€œwants family and marriageâ€; â€œlike to date divorcee or single parentâ€
The online dating allows you to use a search criteria that will let you to select certain personality traits and characteristics. Or, you can just join those single parentsâ€™ websites that only specialize on dating for single parents. Those types of online dating service will help you to feel connected to other single parents; and also will allow you to get the advice for single parents and dating; and refer you to scheduled single parents dating events in your area.
However, this way you will eliminate everyone else that is not a single parent, but may be interested to be with someone who is. So, do not just stay with one online dating website; try several of them, just branch out.
When you are chatting with someone online, you will be able to recognize and see if this is the right person for you as much as you can; just like any other online dating services, you want to be honest with other singles, try not to exaggerate and do not overstate your
Personality and your expectations. Be very clear about your intentions and your present situation (how long divorced, are you already divorced, what is your current situation with your ex etc.).
Then you just have to try to make sense and see if this other single parent, or just another single person has matching qualities and if he is a prospect dating material.
Then you go on dates, may be several dates; you visit one of those special Single Parents Dating events; and you find your match.
Now, once you have met this one person who you feel a connection with, and start dating; you both need to feel comfortable with the idea of co-parenting.
If the person you are dating has his or her own kids, it may be a little easier, because you both share the same conditions and circumstances.
If the person you are with doesnâ€™t have any kids, you have to be really patient, and helpful to lead them in this new world of parenting.
You have to make the person flow in to this environment; nothing is like having your own kids; People may tell you that they have nieces and nephews; and they are surrounded by kids all the time; however it is nothing like living with them, or being a step parent to a child.
So if you are a single parent, and you have someone interested to be with you and live with you, of course after you dated for a while, and you and your child feel very comfortable around each other; you have to be able to create the atmosphere to
make this person part of your day to day routine and part of your everyday life.
The person who is moving in with you, and wants to become part of your and your childâ€™s life has to really embrace the new life style, and you will need to help her or him to do that.
The fact, that this person is willing to take upon the responsibilities with you, only tells you that this person has a great heart and they are really with you for you, no matter of what happens.
In the other hand if you are that person, who is dating someone who is single parent, it is also important for you to be able to compromise for your new family as well.
You may have been single before this relationship, and may be used to more â€œindependentâ€ and controlled life style; you could do things as you please; however when starting relationship with the single parent, all of this may change.
I do not want to sound discouraging, but you have to be able to change your life style rapidly; and go through a lot of new emotions. I do suggest using a jewish dating service to find someone you can chat with first then get to know offline. This way you can discuss your likes dislikes and your children before ever meeting this man or women.
About The Author
Subu is a Jewish Singles dating advice coach and webmaster for AllAboutSingles.com
- Jewish Single parents using online dating site - November 3, 2006
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